Going to Costco
by obsidians
Summary: Reno hates Costco but his wife insists on going and he takes charge of the situation the way a TURK does.


I don't own FF7 or its characters and make no money from writing this story.

Reno ran like a fool from one room to the other in their house while Tifa shook her head at how alike they were already as Reno made airplane noises as he held their infant son aloft, to his delighted giggles. "See Teef, he's going to be a pilot just like his daddy" he declared, turning to her briefly before the two males roared off again.

He watched her out of the corner of his eyes as she opened cupboards in the washroom and kitchen, counted inventory in their pantry and then fridge, frowning as she added to the dreaded list, making it larger as she went on. He was trying to distract her but it wasn't working.

"I thought you said you gave me son?" Reno said coming from their bedroom with a bra held in front of Alexander's chubby little chest.

"Ummmm, cute. Put it back in my drawer" she said in a distracted way.

"Time for belly kisses" he said dangling Alexander before him and covering his exposed little belly with kisses until he was joyfully laughing.

"Reno, it's time for grocery shopping" Tifa interrupted him.

"Great, give me the list and Alex and I shall hit No Frills" he offered.

"We're out of everything. Do you have your Costco card in your wallet?" Tifa said.

"Oh no" he objected. Reno hated that place, how crowded it was every Saturday; the product demo people in the most congested areas, making chaos out of traffic in the aisles, middleaged couples that wore Bermuda shorts and socks with sandals and the constant kids running in the aisles. Everything! It was all loathsome.

"Darling where do you think we buy the extra large boxes of chicken wings you consume like potato chips?" she sweetly asked him.

"You get Alexander ready and I'll get his carseat and fasten it into the sport cars" he sourly said.

"You mean the SUV?" she reminded him.

"Why can't we take the sports car?" he asked her with a whine in his voice.

"When you learn to drive safely, we shall take Alex in it, until then, I shall allow him in it with you driving when he's thirty–five" Tifa countered.

"I'm a safe driver" he insisted.

"I almost puked from motion sickness when we went on our first date when you got road rage and followed them and gave them a tongue lashing" she reminded him.

"They cut me off" Reno insisted.

"They were a van full of elderly nuns on their way to host charity bingo" Tifa reminded him.

"They shouldn't cut decent citizens off who were just trying to take the hottest woman he'd ever met on a date and impress her…and their language wasn't very godly" he said.

"We'll be ready in a few minutes" Tifa said and took Alexander and went upstairs, Reno couldn't help staring at her backside; he never seemed to tire of looking at her.

Reno pushed the cart while his wife walked beside them and their son was in the carseat in the top of the cart "you know I don't like Costco. Why do we always have to come here? We live way above poverty wages and could get any exotic food you wish to name delivered if you want. Tifa, I make plenty of money" Reno complained.

"They don't have deals like these anywhere else" she said.

"Honestly, these people drive me nuts with their baseball caps and loud shorts…." Reno said when their two month old started shaking his little fists around and gyrating and wailing.

"He's hungry" Tifa said, picking him up and bouncing him to soothe him.

"He wasn't at home twenty minutes ago or in the car when you tried to feed him; no he has to wait until every redneck peeping tom in town can watch while you breastfeed him; he so takes after you. I'm asking for management to give you a private room to use" Reno said and went to walk off when Tifa sat on a discreet bench.

"This is fine" she said drawing a lightweight blanket over herself and Alex to shield her from gawkers.

"Here? This is inappropriate" Reno insisted.

"Alexander's demanding like his daddy….and really likes breasts" Tifa cooed as she unbuttoned her blouse and drew down the flap of her nursing bra and smiled as Alexander latched on and nursed lustily from her, she gently stroked his chubby cheeks and looked into the ocean blue eyes that matched her husband's.

She looked up startled when Reno announced, "I'm second-in-command of the Turks; yes you know who we are, yo. My wife is nursing our infant son from her incredible, natural, large breasts that are for my viewing pleasure only and are currently being loaned to our son. If any male here dares look, I shall personally hunt you down and kill you" he threatened. Suddenly males of every age were engrossed in any display before them. From the oversize packs of toilet paper and even boring mushrooms packs were getting unneeded attention until Tifa arranged her clothes, used the blanket to burp Alexander and stood up. Then everyone went back to their normal lives.

"Was that really necessary?" Tifa asked him as she handed Alexander to Reno to be put back in his seat.

"Yup" Reno said with a smirk and she couldn't help but smile back.

"You're the worst" she commented as they loaded their groceries into the back of the SUV and secured Alexander for the ride home.

"No more like lean and lithe and the hottest piece of ass around and you own this" he said slapping his own butt.

"I thought Vincent was" she teased him.

"He was a TURK, so perhaps after me" Reno said as he opened the door for her.

"So what are you going to tell Alex about how he was conceived?" he asked her.

"That he was conceived on our wedding night and we were very much in love" Tifa said.

"What's wrong with the truth?" he asked her.

"I don't want him to think his mother was a slut" she said blushing.

"I can assure him she was that she never was" he hotly said.

"But we slept together on our second date" she said with a blush.

"Tifa; we were drunk" he said.

"That dare was my fault" she said.

"You dared me to shave your pubes on a lark, things got out of hand and we conceived a child and we married. We are hardly the first couple it happened to and it worked out for us" Reno assured her.

"You don't mind?" she asked him for the first time.

"I have the hottest piece of ass in Midgar for a wife and a redheaded kid that's going to go on to break a whole new generations of hearts until he meet someone as wonderful as his mother and he'll become a Turk, like his father. I would do it all again, yo" Reno said as he looked at her so tenderly.

The words were rather crude and normally she would reprimanded him for swearing in front of Alexander but in this case, she glowed. This was the first time he had told her he loved her in his own way.


End file.
